Mandala Enterprises Relationship Coaching
Policies and Practices
Updated 1/21/08
1. What we’re doing
Our work is focused on mentoring our clients on how to relate to one another more effectively.
We are not therapists, we are not trained for that, we don't diagnose, we don't prescribe meds, we don't take insurance, we don't spend ages untangling your childhood. We have great respect for therapy and the art of the therapist, and are clear that what they provide is not what we provide.
We are coaches. That means we offer pro-active advice, suggesting tools based on our own experience over the years since we were married (1990) including what we've learned from a variety of backgrounds and trainings. We help you use those tools by checking in and reflecting on your progress. We coach you on how to make the best of your current relationships (including but not limited to your relationship with yourself), and, depending on your personal needs, on how to find relationships that work for you.
A football coach doesn't really care about your relationship with your mother, unless it's interfering with your ability to practice and throw the ball a certain distance. Similarly, we don't focus on your childhood relationship with your mother (or any other similar issue) unless it's getting in the way of your completing the homework and meeting your own goals in the here and now. Not to say we never discuss your childhood, for instance, but if we sense that you need therapy, we'll recommend you go see a therapist. Our work on the whole tends to be more centered in the present and more proactive, as opposed to therapy which tends to focus on finding "root causes" of current problems and adjusting your relationship to those causes, while the therapist provides more of a "blank mirror" for you to do the exploration yourself.
Most of the time, the work occurs as a free form discussion, with the intent of helping you use our tools to with your existing issues. Usually this will involve listening to your current issues, then describing our tools and concepts, and discussing with you how you might best apply them to those issues.
2. Duration of our work
Since this is a mentoring, the duration is not fixed, as it would be in a workshop or class. Neither, however, is it not intended to be a long-term relationship, as therapy sometimes is. It's our vision that this work take the fewest number of sessions possible. The shorter, the better. And we’ll always be around if you need to come back to us for a session or two later on.
3. Session duration and location
Sessions usually last two hours. We try to keep to that limit, but there are rare instances where a client may feel the need to go beyond that. If there isn't a schedule conflict, and if the client wishes, and if we feel there are sufficient grounds, we will allow the session to go over the usual time. There is more information on this in the Costs section.
Sessions are typically held at our home, at least until such time as we have an office. As such, there will be short interruptions from time to time by our kids. These interruptions will be tracked, and will not be counted as part of your session.
For more geographically distant clients, or for those needing to fit coaching into the workday, we are now offering phone coaching. Contact us via e-mail (coaching [at] mandalaenterprises [dot] com) if you are interested in exploring this option.
4. Coaches
Typically, both Dawn and Akien will coach you, unless some specific arrangement has been made otherwise. Sessions with either alone are possible, though typically Akien is not available during regular daytime working hours.
5. Observers
Very occasionally we have folks who work with us, learning to do what we are doing. Part of this training will involve either observing or participating in coaching sessions. Ideally, all our clients would be open to this kind of observation or participation, but each person is different and has their own needs for privacy. Please let us know during your first session what your preferences are. If it makes any difference to you who they are, let us know and we'll arrange to let you know, or let you meet them in advance. NOTE: As of January 2008 we are not currently working with any observers.
6. Costs
We charge on a sliding scale basis. Our rates for new clients as of 1/1/08 are $120 to $200 for a 2-hour session with both of us. When there are overages, the overage rate is twice the usual rate, charged in 15-minute increments.
Individual, one-on-one sessions with either Akien or Dawn are currently $60/hour, with a typical individual session taking about 90 minutes.
Phone sessions: Sessions with both Dawn and Akien are billed at the usual sliding scale rate. Phone sessions with either Dawn or Akien alone are $1/minute ($60/hour).
Fee increases: Costs may be adjusted once a year, to keep up with the cost of living. In addition, there may be occasional Quality Of Service adjustments. These will typically only occur after some measurable change in our effectiveness at this work. We will evaluate the need for this on a quarterly basis. Existing clients will be given at least 30 days notice of any change in fees.
Costs for wedding/ceremony planning and performance are discussed on our Ceremonies page.
7. Payment Options
We prefer cash or PayPal, but will also take a check. If you do have to pay by check, please make it out to Dawn Davidson, and please be aware that it can take us a while to get it deposited (due to the location of our bank). Payment is expected at the completion of the session.
As mentioned above, we can also take payments via PayPal, and we have a Premier Account with them so that we can accept payment via most major credit cards through that route. Paypal payments go to akienm (at) weirdness (dot) org.
If there's a past due amount--such as for a missed session--that needs to be paid at the completion of the next session. If you terminate your work with us, and have an unpaid balance, this has to be paid within 30 days of the last scheduled appointment.
We have at times also done ‘work trade’ for some clients. We would be open to hearing any proposal that you would like to make. We will decline the offer if it is for services we don’t currently need. We are invested in helping people to conduct their relationships better, if we have to have some flexibility to make that so, that’s OK with us.
It is important to note that, as far as we have been able to determine, we are not a tax-deductible health care provider (such as a psychiatrist, psychologists, doctor, etc.) and are not covered by pre-paid medical type plans. This is not intended to be tax advice and you should consult your tax professional for detailed information.
8. Cancellations
Once the client has agreed to work with us, a 24-hour notice must be given to cancel any appointment. If the cancellation falls within the 24-hour period, the full hourly fee will be charged and the appointment rescheduled.
There are a few coaching clients with whom we have made fee adjustments for various reasons. Whatever the fee arrangement, if there is a cancellation within 24 hours, or a no-show, you will still be liable for our childcare costs, if any.
If we cancel your session for any reason, you are not liable for any cost (including child care).
9. Holidays
Any visit that would normally fall on a major
Those days marked with * may be available, depending on what we have going on. If that's your day, and you want it, let us know, otherwise we'll assume there won't be a session.
Major Holidays we observe:
New Year's Day
President's Day *
Beltane (May 1)
Memorial Day *
Fourth of July
Labor Day *
Samhain (October 31)
Thanksgiving & Day After
Christmas
Other Holidays that may need to be negotiated:
Martin Luther King Jr.'s
Birthday
Spring Break
Columbus Day
Veteran's Day
Sometimes we will have conflicts (be out of town or otherwise unavailable). When this happens, we will notify you as soon as we know about it, and we will make every effort to reschedule you to another mutually acceptable time. If no mutually acceptable time can be found, the visit will be cancelled with no fee.
10.
Confidentiality
Your confidentiality is important to us. We will not knowingly reveal anything about our work with you in a way that identifies you. We do use clients as examples to one another, but only in ways that will not identify them. For instance, we may say "we have another client facing the same issue, they work with it by doing..."
In the future, as this work results in workshops or books, we will not use any information about you without your consent, and in no case will we identify you.
11.
Impartiality
Sometimes in this kind of work, in particular when we work with more than one person, we see people getting into adversarial dynamics with one another. We will not take sides. We will evaluate whether something is really getting you what you want, or whether you’re keeping agreements made in the context of our work. We will not judge you for your choices.
12.
Getting
help between sessions
We’ll make ourselves as available as we can to help out by phone or by email between your sessions. We both, however, have day jobs, and getting back to you may be difficult. Therefore we cannot make specific promises about getting back to you within a given amount of time. We also cannot commit to being available over weekends (unless previously scheduled).
If there is anything that results in us being unavailable for an unusual amount of time, you will be sent email about it before-hand if at all possible.
13.
Homework
There will be homework between sessions. Usually, this involves a single block of time, usually a half an hour or less, of thinking about or creating a list of something. If this homework isn't done between sessions, it will have to be done at a session, where you’re paying for our time. If you do it between sessions, we can concentrate on whatever the work at hand is instead. Sometimes the homework is a more ongoing thing, such as try noticing when you do x or when your partner does y, try responding with z.
If you don't try to do the homework, the effectiveness of the sessions will be dramatically reduced.
14.
Results
We’re here to make a difference in how you conduct your relationships with yourself and with others. To teach you something new.
This is not therapy. If we see that you're blocked from using these tools by some issue requiring therapy, we will recommend that you find a competent therapist, and that you either see them while also seeing us, or stop seeing us until after you’ve completed some therapy.
We are not here to simply create a safe space. That said, we will do our best to create a safe space for you to explore learning and using these new tools. While dealing with current issues and how to apply the tools, sometimes the issues that come up can be difficult or uncomfortable.
We will not hold space only so you can vent at or discuss things with your partner that you can't say at home. While sometimes it is easier to talk with a facilitator present, we're focused on seeing your patterns and teaching you tools. We'll allow venting only inasmuch as it helps you learn the tools. (We can negotiate for facilitation sessions, but it's a different thing and all the parties need to know that that's what's happening.)
We are not here to listen to your detailed history or justifications. We will cut you off if that's where you're headed. These kinds of things breed more harm than good in this kind of work. We will listen to history only inasmuch as it has direct bearing on meeting current goals. We are not concerned with your past, only your future.
If you're consistently not using the tools or not doing the homework, we will terminate the session work with you.
15.
Scheduling
For ongoing clients, we usually try to schedule sessions twice a month. We are not currently scheduling weekly sessions. For the most part, our sessions are scheduled on either Mondays or Tuesdays, and are either First and Third, or Second and Fourth. This way everyone gets seen about every other week, and we get an occasional break.
Scheduled sessions will show up on our online calendar as “Coaching x,” where x is the initial of your first name.
Phone coaching is a possible option, for those who are not local to us (SF Bay Area). Please contact us (coaching [at] weirdness [dot] org) to discuss details.
Also, coaching with either one of us alone is an option as well. Dawn is available during weekdays for either phone or in-person coaching (as well as the usual evening times). On weekdays, Akien is typically only available for short phone coaching “tune-ups.” Coaching with him alone is usually best on a weeknight by individual arrangement.
16.
Ownership
of the material covered in this work
The material is, to the extent that it may be, Copyright 1999 through 2008 Akien MacIain and Dawn Davidson. With some of the material we will share with you or recommend, the copyright will be owned by the author of that material, who we will identify for you.
17.
Ownership
of our notes
We will take notes during sessions. We retain ownership of those notes, though as mentioned above, they will not be revealed to anyone else without your consent. The notes serve two purposes, they help us keep track of things you’ve said in case we need to refer to them later, and they serve to show us how you’ve come along.
18.
Client
note taking
You will need to take some notes, so please bring a notebook. At the very least, you’ll need to note what your homework is. We also recommend noting the points in the teaching. We find that people absorb it better when they write it down, even if they never refer back to it.
In addition, if we’re working with a group of two or more, you may need an Agreements Book. This can be any sort of book that you can write down agreements in. It can be anything from a spiral bound or loose-leaf notebook, to a bound blank book. But it must be for this purpose only, at least for the duration of our work. Your notes and the contents of your Agreement Book are your property. You are not required to show us your notes, though it may be necessary from time to time for us to review something in your Agreements Book as a group.
The only exception to the above is regarding our copyright. If you write our material in your notebook, which we will encourage you to do, we still retain ownership of the material with respect to reprinting or redistributing it.
19.
Exit
interview
We request that, upon completion of your work with us, you allow us to interview you. We'd like to learn what we did well, and what we might do better. We will also be looking for any quotes about us by you that you’d be willing to let us share with others.
20.
Policy
changes
Any further changes to the policies listed here will be brought to your attention in writing via email, and verbally or in writing at your next session after the change.
©2005-2008, Dawn Davidson and
Akien MacIain.
Page last updated 1/21/08